Crap … Now What?

Okay I admit it. I have no frigging clue what I’m doing. I thought writing my first book was hard. I mean I literally spilled my guts onto the pages of my book, and then released those words, and thoughts, and emotions into the world where people I’ve never met can read them and judge them (gasp.)

Then, when it was time to put my words it into a cohesive format — thank-you iBooks Author, create a publishing company, learn brand new terminology, apply to the IRS for a ITIN number — crazy scary — and actually publish it, I thought, “Damn … that was hard!”

But nothing, nothing comes remotely close to the pain of having to promote your book. What the hell was I thinking? I hate this kind of thing. It goes against every fibre in my being. It keeps me up at night. It makes me want to pull the curtains and close up shop. Literally.

Then I think of the reason that I wrote the book in the first place. I wanted to reach out and connect with others who have gone through similarly painful experiences. I wanted people to know they weren’t alone. That you can fall just about as far down the hole as humanly possible, and still pull yourself back up. That there is a beautiful, fulfilling, joyful life after a breakdown, a divorce, and the loss of friends that you held dear to you.

I think about what I want to accomplish with part of the profits from the book, as 50% of the profits are being donated to Somaly Mam Foundation and Room to Read. I was so touched when I saw the movie Half the Sky. I was in total and complete awe of Somaly Mam, and I cried and cried listening to stories of women and girls who went through horrific experiences only to come out fighting. I watched Gabriel Union’s Room to Read segment, and I was so inspired by the work that they are doing. Books can change lives, and hearts, and minds.

So I guess that’s what I was thinking, though that doesn’t prevent the panic from bubbling up about every 30 seconds or so.

When all else fails, I know the one thing I absolute can do is manage the hell out of anything. So, it’s time to put my Project Manager hat on and break this thing down. I need to think it through step-by-step. Nothing like some good old fashioned planning to fight the utter chaos in my mind.

I’m going to commit one hour a day to doing nothing but book promotion. I figure by the end of the month, that will give me 30 solid hours of getting my book out there, and then I can take a step back and reassess.

If after 30 days I haven’t made any progress, I’ll come up with a plan B. What — I don’t know. But at least I have a starting point now.

I won’t give up! I really believe that people will connect with my book and this is my vessel to give back. I very much want Unlove to make enough money to help support at least one girl/woman who was saved from sex-trafficking, and fund a library in Nepal. I’m not going to stop until that dream is fulfilled.

I guess I better get to it.

Wish me luck!!!